Lots of firsts!

Recently, I've been reminded just how quickly babies change in their precious first year.  My head is spinning with the developments and huge milestones we've hit with our little one over the last few weeks. Just like that she's grown so much! Here are some pictures of Anna's firsts -

She literally went from this, unstable and leaning forward:

to this: in a week - sitting up straight like a pro!

Her first time in the Bumbo

First time in the jumper - her new favorite!

her first time in the high chair!

first taste of solids... love that face :)

after a few bites, she smiled!

first time in a stroller, and a first in our "new" double stroller!

first time sitting in a cart!

Phone photo dump

Starting to sit up at 4 mo

her favorite thing to do - swings at the park!

being great sports at the Samples concert at the beach!

hanging with Uncle B!

it's so nice to have time for an afternoon walk, on a week day!

bed head

my birthday visitor at work!

we finally got the Bumbo out :)

Madelyn loves to read to her little sis!

hanging poolside at Mimi and Pop-pop's

pre-dinner story time

she's always smiling :)

My company while I was on bed rest - the best! 

literally in a week, she went from being wobbly and leaning over, to sitting up nice and strong! 

its all good

Happy weekend! After my last post, I just wanted to quickly stop by to say hi, we're all good, and thank you :) I started this blog when we were pregnant with Madelyn as a way to document the pregnancy, and all the preparations we were going through. Sometime along the way, the lovely little space, has also become a spot for me to share my thoughts. Specifically last week, writing about what we had just learned was therapeutic for me. So, like I said, it might have been a lot to share, but it really helped me.

Not long after I posted, I heard from some friends and it sincerely warmed my heart. Sharing in itself, whether here or talking with friends and family, helped me immensely. The support and warm wishes from friends and family, was so kind and very much appreciated. I just want to say thank you for stopping by to see what we're up to, and being interested in "keeping up" with us. 

Although, I was sad and overwhelmed on Monday, I want to reiterate just how lucky I know we are, for what we do have. Our girls, have forever changed our world and filled our lives with so much joy and love. After a few hard days, now, we are looking forward, counting our blessings and remembering to live in the moment. Today, I'm also feeling quite a bit better than I have in a while, so that's great too!

I'm supposed to take it easy this weekend, to make sure things continue to heal properly. So, that means more relaxing, probably a mani/pedi and QT with my special loves.. and I'm pretty excited about that! I hope you have fun things planned with favorites, and enjoy! 

Again, thanks for stopping by!

heavy heart

I was just laying in bed, and I decided I had to write.  I'm not a very private person, I'm definitely more of an open book. I'll tell you what you want to know, and then some, just because. But, this is a little different. It might be a bit of an over-share, but I need to share. I think it'll help me.

As I've eluded to in past posts, I've had some health troubles since Anna's birth. It's complicated, and quite a long story, but essentially one thing that came up during my pregnancy, wasn't monitored correctly and has caused some issues that all recently came to a head.

The quick rundown - I had outpatient surgery 2 week after Anna was born to fix something that wasn't quite right. All seemed to be going well at first, but as it turns out, my system wasn't back on track. Last week, I had surgery to fix all of that. But just 4 hours after getting home from that surgery, I was back at the ER, and going in for another surgery. Something went very wrong during the first surgery and had to be fixed right away.

I went to my doctor today for a follow up. While I was there we went over everything again, and he explained that hopefully things should be healing well now. However, then he dropped a bomb on me. We'll most likely not be able to have anymore kids. I was not prepared in any way shape or form, for the words -infertility, catastrophic, 2% chance, etc. Ouch. I nearly fell off the table. I was stunned. I knew going into the surgery there was a small risk of complications, and a small chance it could affect fertility. But, I needed to get things fixed and I was hopeful it would all go smoothly. Unfortunately, it didn't go smoothly and my body probably won't be able to sustain another pregnancy. I cried in the lobby, my mom and I cried together, I cried telling Brian, I cried when I got home, I'm crying now, and I know when I hold my girls tonight, I'll cry a lot more.

The "how many kids" conversation, wasn't one we'd had a lot... it was open-ended. Brian and I are each one of three, so before we were married, we liked the idea of also having three kids. After Anna was born, we talked about it a little, and agreed we'd talk again about it in a year or so. It helped that we seemed to have the doctors vote of confidence too. Right after Madelyn's birth, one of the first things he said to Brian was - "well, that couldn't have gone any better!" And after he delivered Anna, he said - "you are meant for this, I think you could do it another 5 times." So, to hear that same doctor today, tell me no more, is something I'll be struggling to digest for a bit. It's so definite and so real.

The house is so quiet right now. Madelyn is at school and my mom has Anna. I can't wait for my family to get home, so I can hug them all so tightly. I want them to know how much I love them, but I also just really need a hug. I always count my blessings, but especially today, a tough day, I'm reminding myself to be grateful for what we have and saying a few prayers for the strength to get through.

hope you all are well~
XO