I am scared

I must do a pretty good job of living in the present. With some recent local news and then the news around the world, this week I have found myself overwhelmed with fear and worries about the future for my girls. I've probably shared on here before that I am a good sleeper, so thankfully it's not making me lose sleep per se, but I can't stop thinking about our future, their future and my role in helping them navigate life.

Parenthood is a WILD ride and although our kids are still young, they are starting to have experiences in school and life that they'll remember years down the road. They are vulnerable, easily influenced and so, so precious. And, this is just the start. How much to you try to protect them? how much do you share? How to you help them become strong, kind, confident, compassionate and hard working people?

Recently, there was a story in our local news, that I just can't stop thinking about. A high school party that involved lots of alcohol. I think I went to 2 real big parties in high school - never partook in the partying just watched and left. But they happen in abundance, everywhere and I know this. Brian has many stories of his more social and sneaky shenanigans in high school. Anyway, at this particular party there were a lot of 17 year old boys from the baseball team, and girls that were included at the last minute. The parents were not home. They are not releasing specific details of what happened, but at around 10:30pm one boy (star of the baseball team) ended up at the bottom of a flight of stairs, unconscious. Other kids noticed within minutes and quickly the boy who lived at the home called his parents. His parents told him not to call police, they'd be home soon. It wasn't until a FULL HOUR later at 11:25pm that 911 was called. In that hour, other parents came to the home to pick up their teens, and the father of the unconscious boy came to the home as well. Around 11:00pm the home-owners arrived home. I can't imagine the conversations, arguments or words that were exchanged in this time, but my head spins that there was no call for help immediately. There was one girl who continued to press peers and adults to call 911 but continually was dismissed and told "NO!" The girl even got into an argument with the homeowners when they arrived home. She tried to reach her own parents once or twice before finally connecting with her dad (a firefighter in town) and she explained what happened. This man was the one who finally called 911 around 11:25pm. The boy was very badly hurt and in a coma for 2 weeks. They have not released his condition but thankfully he did survive. However, I'm not sure he'll play baseball at college as he was planning, with a scholarship. A very sad and unnecessary situation. How so many adults (and young adults for that matter) could hesitate in a time like that is just beyond me. The one thing that I keep coming back to is the young girl- who recognized the wrong, and ultimately got a call through to 911. When everyone is against you, or telling you no and you still stand strong.... When you are determined to do what's right... that's a good kid.

And the hazing incident at Penn State that isn't recent but was in recent news for the charges. And then Manchester... don't even get me started. It just saddens and scares me, in a whole new way since becoming a parent. I feel such an obligation as a parent to help my girls and just hope and pray for all of us in months and years to come.  All the social media, all the pressures, all the stuff that our kids are exposed to long before they are really ready to process it. I am scared. Now that I've gotten that off my chest and out of my head... I think I might have to force myself back to the present and living only for today. I will literally make myself sick otherwise! So, one day at a time and I'll just keep praying for a brighter future. 

Hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday weekend! 

XO

Celebration Time!

Just a few more hours until our long weekend of fun begins. My in-laws are coming in this afternoon and we're going right out to eat... this lady did not have time for prepping a meal for tonight, oops! :) Then packing bags and making sure everything and everyone is ready for the next few days. It's definitely different when prepping for a wedding with kids. We've been to weddings since having the girls, but actually needing to prep them and arrange for help with getting them around, has added a whole other dynamic. Madelyn isn't sure what to think of it all, but sweet Anna is taking her role VERY seriously and cannot wait. It's pretty stinking cute. They live in leggings and ponytails, so I it'll be great to see them all dressed too!

The weather forecast is terrible - with a capital T for this weekend. But, what are you going to do?! We'll just have to soak up the sunshine now and pray it's not as bad as they are saying, otherwise we'll all need our winter coats! I've been stressing about my big responsibility of the weekend, but this week finally wrapped it up, and feel good about it. We have many friends and family that we haven't seen in a while coming in, so it'll be wonderful to see them all. An added bonus is we're staying at the hotel on Saturday, so maybe I'll get to sleep in past 6am (sorry Gramma and Grandpa for your early morning!). I've always loved staying at hotels but staying at a hotel without the kids (sorry loves!) is such.a.treat!

Then, Mother's Day! My SIL invited us up to their house, which I am so thankful and excited for. We love getting together with them, and I can't wait. I've got a little something for everyone and it'll be really neat to get to spend it with my mom, my MIL and my SIL! I've got a little treat up my sleeve for my Mom for Mother's Day, and I am over the moon excited to give it to her. Eeeek! 

So, a busy but fun weekend lined up for the Gergi. Hope you have a great one too! TGIT :)

XOXO

Tying the knot!

Next weekend, my little sister is getting married - 5.13.17. They met online just 2 years ago, are quite honestly the most perfect match, and I am so excited for them to embark on this journey together. Things for our family, especially in the last few months have very busy with wedding related things. Fittings for dresses and tuxes, hair appointments, bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers and all. It's been a very exciting time and I can't believe how quickly it's arrived.

I feel like wedding ceremonies often bring out lots of wonderful emotions. Especially since getting married myself, I always get teary. In all the little things that I've been a part of recently, I'm reminiscing of when we did the same. For someone who isn't really into details, (I'm not OCD like my siblings or my mom) I had the.best.time planning our wedding. My mother was a rock-star, since she's a great party planner and in true Brian fashion he sort of stepped back and let us do it all. It was rarely stressful (even when our photographer cancelled 4 DAYS before our wedding) and I'm so thankful that I can look back at the whole thing with such great memories. Then there was the day itself, that (in my eyes) couldn't have been better. A beautiful day, a special ceremony, and one heck of a party to celebrate us!

In June, we'll hit the 7 year mark. As the older sibling, I feel like I should have lots of marriage advice, but I don't. Its fun, it takes work and its an ever-changing ride. One of the neatest thing about it, is how different I feel like our marriage is now, compared to being newlyweds. I think, if I were to be asked what's the best marriage advice, than I'd suggest listening to our wedding song.  We picked it because we liked the lyrics and because of our love for Bruce Springsteen. May have seemed an odd pick but we it was a no-brainer to us right away. We even went so far as to print the song lyrics on the back of the menus for everyone to see, because we thought they were that good. Springsteen said its one of his best songs about dedication and love. I loved it then and I felt like it suited us, but 7 years in, I have even more appreciation for it.

We said we'd walk together baby come what may

That come the twilight should we lose our way

If as we're walking a hand should slip free

I'll wait for you

And should I fall behind

Wait for me

We swore we'd travel darlin' side by side

We'd help each other stay in stride

But each lover's steps fall so differently

But I'll wait for you

And if I should fall behind

Wait for me

You wont always agree, and you never know what lay ahead, but with that unconditional love, support and friendship, it'll be a fun ride. He doesn't read this - but, I love you BTG! :) Little sap for your Thursday <3

Make it a great day! XO

Owned

The current status of our sleep situation is, owned. We are completely being owned and I'm not doing a thing about it. As I was rocking Anna at 1am, then awoken by Madelyn at 3:45am, and Anna again at 4:45am on Sunday morning, it sort of hit me, I'm completely helpless. I've joked from time to time about certain situations, or fleeting tantrums, etc that they were owning us, but doesn't hold a candle to what we have going on now, ha! What started in September/October with Madelyn quickly spiraled and a 'goodnight's sleep' seems a thing of the past.

I am giving ugly-eyes to the old me, who had two babies that slept through the night at 10 weeks. I try to be judgement-free but I did often say to myself that I wouldn't be the parent who let my kids in my bed. It's important for everyone to sleep well, and in their own bed, end of story. I'd figure out a way to stop it before it became a behavior. But the fact of the matter - it's just not that easy. We were so lucky, and now we're getting dose of the real stuff. In a way, I feel like we're paying our dues and earning a badge of parenthood that we hadn't previously. So, the triple bags under-eye that have developed and I just can't seem to conceal, I pray (daily!) are just temporary.

At the same time, I am amazed how the girl who has always loved her sleep, is getting by on so little. My mom recently heard that most parents get an average of 5 hours of sleep... sounds about right in our house! About a month ago, we seemed to finally turn a corner, and Madelyn started to sleep through the night again, for 8 nights in a row. I mean, H - U - G - E! We were all waking in the morning - smiling, happy and ready for the day. It was absolutely glorious! Wouldn't you know, that at the exact same time of this lovely pattern, Anna started one of her own. All this time that Madelyn has been having disrupted nights, Anna would sleep through. Only really waking at night if she was sick. So, sure enough, Anna has started her own little pattern, maybe she was jealous... and most nights now Anna wakes, and in turn wakes the whole house.

Madelyn is sort of a sleep walker, she doesn't wake crying or talking, just needs a hug and put back in bed. Often times lately though I don't really wake, and she climbs in bed next to me! So, there you go. However, Anna wakes SCREAMING - "Mommmmmmmy, I neeeed you!" I mean, how can I not run. She is wide awake, pleading with me to hold her, rock her, etc. In the beginning I thought maybe she was sick (but the Dr said she's perfect) or maybe she had a bad dream... but lately, I really think its her own little game for more attention. So, rather than be stern like would be the best parenting move, I swoop her up out of bed, and cuddle and rock her for as long as I feel like it. Sometimes she falls asleep on me, sometimes she doesn't. But we just sit and cuddle in the dark, and I'm not going to lie, I don't mind it.

My mom has said on more than one occasion - 'you have got to get the sleep in your house under control' and in the beginning, I agreed. But, I am too tired to fight it and I feel like we're too far gone, plus I to be honest, I don't mind being needed. So, who knows what is going on and chances are at 3am, there will be lights on in our house... but for right now, this is our new norm and just like everything, I figure, it'll work itself out eventually! It just so happens Brian is away until Sunday... so wish me luck!

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Happy Monday!
XO