Lots of firsts!

Recently, I've been reminded just how quickly babies change in their precious first year.  My head is spinning with the developments and huge milestones we've hit with our little one over the last few weeks. Just like that she's grown so much! Here are some pictures of Anna's firsts -

She literally went from this, unstable and leaning forward:

to this: in a week - sitting up straight like a pro!

Her first time in the Bumbo

First time in the jumper - her new favorite!

her first time in the high chair!

first taste of solids... love that face :)

after a few bites, she smiled!

first time in a stroller, and a first in our "new" double stroller!

first time sitting in a cart!

Phone photo dump

Starting to sit up at 4 mo

her favorite thing to do - swings at the park!

being great sports at the Samples concert at the beach!

hanging with Uncle B!

it's so nice to have time for an afternoon walk, on a week day!

bed head

my birthday visitor at work!

we finally got the Bumbo out :)

Madelyn loves to read to her little sis!

hanging poolside at Mimi and Pop-pop's

pre-dinner story time

she's always smiling :)

My company while I was on bed rest - the best! 

literally in a week, she went from being wobbly and leaning over, to sitting up nice and strong! 

its all good

Happy weekend! After my last post, I just wanted to quickly stop by to say hi, we're all good, and thank you :) I started this blog when we were pregnant with Madelyn as a way to document the pregnancy, and all the preparations we were going through. Sometime along the way, the lovely little space, has also become a spot for me to share my thoughts. Specifically last week, writing about what we had just learned was therapeutic for me. So, like I said, it might have been a lot to share, but it really helped me.

Not long after I posted, I heard from some friends and it sincerely warmed my heart. Sharing in itself, whether here or talking with friends and family, helped me immensely. The support and warm wishes from friends and family, was so kind and very much appreciated. I just want to say thank you for stopping by to see what we're up to, and being interested in "keeping up" with us. 

Although, I was sad and overwhelmed on Monday, I want to reiterate just how lucky I know we are, for what we do have. Our girls, have forever changed our world and filled our lives with so much joy and love. After a few hard days, now, we are looking forward, counting our blessings and remembering to live in the moment. Today, I'm also feeling quite a bit better than I have in a while, so that's great too!

I'm supposed to take it easy this weekend, to make sure things continue to heal properly. So, that means more relaxing, probably a mani/pedi and QT with my special loves.. and I'm pretty excited about that! I hope you have fun things planned with favorites, and enjoy! 

Again, thanks for stopping by!

heavy heart

I was just laying in bed, and I decided I had to write.  I'm not a very private person, I'm definitely more of an open book. I'll tell you what you want to know, and then some, just because. But, this is a little different. It might be a bit of an over-share, but I need to share. I think it'll help me.

As I've eluded to in past posts, I've had some health troubles since Anna's birth. It's complicated, and quite a long story, but essentially one thing that came up during my pregnancy, wasn't monitored correctly and has caused some issues that all recently came to a head.

The quick rundown - I had outpatient surgery 2 week after Anna was born to fix something that wasn't quite right. All seemed to be going well at first, but as it turns out, my system wasn't back on track. Last week, I had surgery to fix all of that. But just 4 hours after getting home from that surgery, I was back at the ER, and going in for another surgery. Something went very wrong during the first surgery and had to be fixed right away.

I went to my doctor today for a follow up. While I was there we went over everything again, and he explained that hopefully things should be healing well now. However, then he dropped a bomb on me. We'll most likely not be able to have anymore kids. I was not prepared in any way shape or form, for the words -infertility, catastrophic, 2% chance, etc. Ouch. I nearly fell off the table. I was stunned. I knew going into the surgery there was a small risk of complications, and a small chance it could affect fertility. But, I needed to get things fixed and I was hopeful it would all go smoothly. Unfortunately, it didn't go smoothly and my body probably won't be able to sustain another pregnancy. I cried in the lobby, my mom and I cried together, I cried telling Brian, I cried when I got home, I'm crying now, and I know when I hold my girls tonight, I'll cry a lot more.

The "how many kids" conversation, wasn't one we'd had a lot... it was open-ended. Brian and I are each one of three, so before we were married, we liked the idea of also having three kids. After Anna was born, we talked about it a little, and agreed we'd talk again about it in a year or so. It helped that we seemed to have the doctors vote of confidence too. Right after Madelyn's birth, one of the first things he said to Brian was - "well, that couldn't have gone any better!" And after he delivered Anna, he said - "you are meant for this, I think you could do it another 5 times." So, to hear that same doctor today, tell me no more, is something I'll be struggling to digest for a bit. It's so definite and so real.

The house is so quiet right now. Madelyn is at school and my mom has Anna. I can't wait for my family to get home, so I can hug them all so tightly. I want them to know how much I love them, but I also just really need a hug. I always count my blessings, but especially today, a tough day, I'm reminding myself to be grateful for what we have and saying a few prayers for the strength to get through.

hope you all are well~
XO

Sweet baby, special day

Last week Anna was baptized. It was very important to me for both of the girls to be raised Catholic and understand their faith from an early age. My faith is important to me, and I want the girls to have a good foundation from the start. Madelyn is lucky that her Auntie takes her to church all the time, and is already showing her the way. My hope is that someday we will all go to church more often as a family.

We lucked out that the weather was perfect that day, since we set everything up outside. My family was a huge help in getting everything ready, doing the flowers, and some of the food, etc! It came together well and it was a very special day! Unfortunately, Madelyn was under the weather, but even she managed to dress up and (fake) smile for a few photos :) Keeping with tradition, Anna wore my christening dress, that Madelyn also wore. It's amazing that after 33 years, it still looked beautiful and current. We're also lucky it fit our growing girl! 

We are blessed to have wonderful families, and friends who are like family, that shared in the day with us. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon and we loved having everyone together to celebrate! Here are some pictures of Anna's special day. 

mommyhood

No one can prepare you for how much your life will change when you become a mom.  There are all the changes you anticipate, but also, so many wonderful changes you don't expect. It's been such an incredible experience and for me, I've experienced more growth and change with #2. My aunt said to my mom when they were young mothers, "you don't know what it's like to have kids, until you have two." In so many ways, now, I understand.

I was very nervously excited before Madelyn, and once she was born, I was overcome with emotion. I was proud, excited, overjoyed and so full of love. A midst all the emotion of it though, the actual changes happened subtly. For all the nerves you have going into parenthood, we welcomed Madelyn and family life, pretty easily. In a way, it was like not that much changed. As a baby, we toted her around, quickly set up a routine, and still had time for us, whether it was alone or together. In a way, Madelyn fit right into our life, without our life changing, that much.

As we got ready for baby #2, I had some nerves but I felt like we were ready, and didn't need to prep much. I figured it would all come back to us... which it did. What I didn't expect, was just how much life, and I, personally, would change with #2. Now, I know just what my aunt was talking about... she was totally right, you don't really know until you have two!

The joy and love I felt when I held M for the first time, was exponentially greater when I held Anna. It was so overwhelming.  It was the same feeling all over again, but accompanying it was the profound understanding of what welcoming that baby actually means. Doubly blessed, and doubly grateful for two beautiful babies. Two little ones to tug at your pant leg, two little ones to call you mommy, two little ones to need to be rocked to sleep, two little ones to take care of and to love. I love nothing more than being needed by them.  My girls will have my whole heart for their whole loves.

This time, welcoming Anna and watching her grow, I feel like I am a mom. Not that I wasn't the first time around, but then, I was a new mom. Now, I'm fully in mommy mode, in every moment of my day. In addition, I'm more in tune to everything, and I have a greater understanding and appreciation of mommy-hood. There is a lot to learn and with growing girls there will definitely be many hormones flying in our house, but I feel like I get it. I am 100% mom.

Anna will no doubt be an early walker and talker, as she moves non stop and is incredibly vocal. I've just loved watching these traits in her. She also started turning over before 4 months, which in our house, is early. These little developments and changes in her, have been huge milestones to me.  I guess it's because I have a much better understanding of what's to come, or maybe that I'm pretty certain our family won't be growing any more. I'm hanging to each and every little milestone so tightly because I recognize how fast it goes and how special everything is.

Both girls have been sick and not sleeping great lately.  Our normally quiet nights, have been anything but normal and quiet. I've been up at least 2 -3 times a night, often for 30 mins to an hour, to check on them or help settle them. One of the not so glamorous parts of parenthood, but I wouldn't change a thing. I'm ridiculously exhausted, but I welcome it and love doting on my babes.  For the girl who LOVES sleep, I sometimes surprise myself at how easily my body adjusts to such wacky night's of sleep. I'll get a good nights sleep eventually :)

Last weekend, we had Anna baptized and had a small celebration with family and friends.  It was such a special day, and I was surprisingly emotional. I wasn't sure why then, but I've been thinking about it a lot since. I think I was feeling overwhelmingly excited about the special milestone for Anna, and the love I have for my little family. We had a picture taken that day, that I can't stop looking at. It makes me happy and my heart really, is so full.

Mommyhood is a wonderfully exciting, blessed and crazy challenge but it's the best job in the world. Being a mommy x 2 is even more amazing :) I love my little family more than they'll ever know!

Hope you are having a great weekend with your families!

Xxo